From One Drinker to Another

by Jim Kopetz

To drink or not to drink, is not the question. The question is, how does one sustain a life of libations?

     
As a twenty-six year old male, I've been a drinker for almost half my life. I've tipped back everything from Keystone Light, to Johnny Walker Blue. Popov to high quality absinthe. This is neither a boast nor a recommendation. But as heavy drinking is on the rise, achieving parity with the increase in depression, I felt it appropriate to share what I've learned, through trial and error of course, on how to last.

Here's a list of the basics. If you don't know these by now, you might want to reconsider your approach to, well, life.


    1. Eat. If you consume more than 6 drinks a day, you need to eat. No not to "soak" up the booze; when your stomach is full it begins to slowly digest whatever you consumed as opposed to the quick digestion of an empty stomach. Slower digestion means slower effect time.

    2. Does it taste good? If not pick another poison. The goal shouldn't be just to get drunk, but to enjoy the spirits one is imbibing.


    3. Take breaks. Any serious drinker has moments of dependence, but one must realize when this has occurred and take a breather. A day, a week, a year, your choice. I'd advise two weeks off for every year you drink, but that's just me.

    4. If you have to set a time to drink, meaning you won't drink until 5pm, 8pm, whatever, then you're doing it wrong. Take a break.

    5. If you feel guilty or ashamed of the amount you're drinking, take a break.


    6. Find a brand and stick with it.

    7. Mixing doesn't matter. Tequila followed by beer followed by whiskey is the same as if you were to drink tequila all night. Don't be fooled by the foolish.


    8. Blacking out is never an excuse. For that matter, alcohol is never an excuse. If you acted like a fool it's because deep down, you are one.

    9. The truth comes out, and usually not how you want it to. One must always keep composed or you risk ruining relationships. Always treat people as they deserve to be treated.


    10. Alcohol bares the insides, the guts. Beware learning the truth of one's self.

Once again, and I cannot stress this enough, I am not advising anyone to take up drink. It's a battle between truth and endurance, and surely not for everyone. But if you find yourself to be of the drinking sort, learn the rules. Or forever hold your peace. Cheers.

Feel free to add your personal rules or advice in the comments below.