Iran Enters the Drone (Bone) Zone

Smoother than a Camel's Ass!

A few months back, Iran proudly displayed what looks like an American-made stealth drone. This high-technology piece was over Iran when the United States lost command of it. The drone was confiscated by the Iranians, who refused to return the aircraft.

Iran claimed to be reverse engineering the drone and retrieving all of its information and encrypted files. An Iranian minister went as far as saying the files were being retrieved through "the grace of God." A Pentagon official, speaking to an American publication on the condition of anonymity, quipped that these series of events "sounds like complete bullshit." There is nothing like American candor.

This drone, the RQ-170, is different from the typical drones you read about in the news. The ones talked about on an almost daily basis are attack drones, the Predator and the Reaper. They are the ones delivering laser guided missiles into the right eyeballs of Al-Qaeda targets. They operate with extreme efficiency and lethal precision. They are safe as well, being commanded by a pilot some 7.000 miles away. The drone that Iran claims to have, however, was of a different sort. It seemed to be primarily for stealth spying rather than delivering terrorists to paradise.

This series of events got me to thinking of Iran in general. Here is a hostile and repressed country, whose citizens must abide by laws that literally predate the Dark Ages. Some poor bastard blinded someone with acid in Iran last year, and instead of jail time or even corporal punishment, they administered drops of acid to his eyes. Women are stoned to death for sentences such as "sorcery." This Babylonian-style justice system is the stuff of wet dreams for members of Amnesty International.

Iran claims to be able to reverse engineer this aircraft. Let's see it fly! I don't trust their word for it, after images released of a supposed rocket launch were proved fake.

It just doesn't add up.

Iran struggles for a nuclear weapon. Their main enemy is Israel. Though I am not the biggest fan of Israel (probably the most short-sighted piece of diplomacy in modern times) I cannot help but compare the two nations. Mighty Iran versus the weak, Zionist Israeli dogs.

Oppenheimer and Einstein, among others. This must chap Iran's ass.

Firstly, a team of scientists including Oppenheimer and Einstein (among other Jews), created a nuclear weapon in the early 1940's. That is over 60 years ago. Iran's brilliant scientists are still spinning their wheels and scratching their heads with their shit-covered left hands. Let's see what advancements have been made in the time since a group of Jews constructed that which is Iran's most prized and sought after possession.

1. The computer.

2. Elimination of smallpox.

3. Lasers.

4. Satellites.

5. Cellular technology.

6. Civil Rights.

The list extends to infinity. There have been 185 Jewish Nobel Laureates in various fields. That is almost 1/5 of all Nobel prizes in the past hundred years.

Iran has had one Nobel Prize winner. It was a peace prize, for promoting democracy and freedom in that sandy hell-hole. Needless to say the prize was immediately confiscated and condemned by Iran.

Here is a list of Iranian inventions in the past 60 years.

1. Sand-based lube, for masturbatory purposes. Perfume free and camel-safe.

2. The cure for homosexuality. (President Ahmawhogivesafuck claims that there are no gay people in Iran, and that it is a Western ailment.)

Back to the drone. Iran claims it can weaponize it. Here are the only two ways Iran can weaponize it.

1. Fill it with unexploded ordnance and bury it near a roadside.

2. Strap a man with an C-4 vest to the drone and use a giant slingshot to propel it to Israel.


This post is in no way against the people of Iran. They are slaves under the iron rule of a psychotic. They lack freedom of expression, something that seems so insane in our modern times. Their justice system is so flawed that it makes Uday Hussein's tactics look progressive.

Iran will never advance in the world with such a hostile and threatening view on foreign policy. Until that policy changes, it is the people of Iran that will suffer the most.