The Cross-Dressing, Meth-selling Catholic Priest Who Sold Me My First Bong In 1999.

by Jim Kopetz

Land of Oz is a place of which we North Haven residents don't speak of. They supply bath salts, edible underwear, 18 inch black dildos, and apparently, crystal meth.

I remember walking into the store, 14 years old with a fake Quinnipiac ID printed on a piece of paper and molded into a baseball card holder. It was embarrassing, but we ultimately overcame and walked out with a supply of apparatuses any other kid would kill for. We ordered a lot as I recall; a zong, a steamroller, an automatic roller, a bubbler, 3 packs of wraps, some condoms, etc. Everything an average middle-schooler might need.

We woke up 36 hours later. Something had happened. We were stoned off our gourds and had pitched tents in the woods behind the house. Priests covered the grounds and were blessing us behind masks of ravens. It was terrifying.

They forced us at dickpoint to smoke Salvia D and giggled hysterically as we tore at the ground, screaming in terrified glory. But his face. I'll never forget his face...

Sources: Hypervocal