The Price of Refreshment or The Law VS Arizona Iced Tea

Terrifyingly Delicious

I am no scientist. My intelligence, like my taste in music, is constantly being questioned. So of course when I am left to my own whims and decide to do research, the findings should be taken with multiple grains of salt. I have had this hunch for a few weeks now. I’ve decided to scour the internet because most other types of fact finding would require pants and social interaction. My hypothesis is that there is a terrifying connection between two seemingly unrelated concepts that is so obvious that those involved have overlooked it. I’ve come up with one common factor in two tragic or infuriating stories involving young men being shot, arrested, and otherwise attacked by those claiming authority. The common thread in these vicious attacks is the seemingly innocuous, yet undeniably refreshing, Arizona Brand Iced Tea.

The most famous and crushing example of Arizona Iced Tea in the news is the case of Trayvon Martin. This is a dark and devastating ordeal that deserves tact and respect. However, you may not know that there is another case that is less dire that also involves unjust intervention as well as the high fructose power house we all know and love. For instance, in Fayetteville, North Carolina, while drinking Arizona Iced Tea in a liquor store parking lot. One Christopher “Xtrav” Beatty, was waiting for friends to buy drinks for a party and amateur music video, when he was accosted by a plain clothes police officer who admitted to not having his badge. The officer demanded to inspect the Arizona Brand Iced Tea, later discovered to be an Arnold Palmer concoction with pink lemonade instead of the traditional lemonade.  Christopher Beatty wisely resisted the urge to allow a complete stranger who could not prove himself to be affiliated with law enforcement to inspect his drink. What followed was Beatty being commanded to leave. After ignoring the command he was wrestled to the ground and arrested. It should be noted that throughout the confrontation the entirety of his beloved Arizona Iced Tea remained in its distinctive can.

The innocent aren’t the only people who enjoy one of the most delicious and cost effective beverages known to man. In Sparta, New Jersey, two men were found in possession of Heroin hidden in an Arizona Iced Tea can. Details are few, but we can all assume the can was empty and somehow still attracting an accusing eye…also the guys were on heroine…so there’s that. Other news stories involve Arizona trucks getting stuck in tunnels and tipping over and losing their contents. It was not mentioned if police were already following the trucks in anticipation of trouble.

Granted my evidence is flimsy at best. I’m still not a scientist. For all I know there could be some other glaring, obvious, and completely unmentioned factor that these people have in common that would make them targets. The only thing I know for sure from personal experience is that Arizona Iced Tea tastes great and is inexpensive and readily available. Is it worth the threat of violence to attempt to enjoy such a drink? I for one think so. I know that I’m going to keep an eye on this hypothesis of mine, because for some reason I can’t shake the idea that there is something besides iced tea attracting violence and accusations.