Hurricane Sandy or Hurricane Saddam

If a giant mass of clouds, wind, and rain was making a slow approach towards my home and family with an insatiable blood-lust, I might think of a more fitting name than "Sandy."

We have to stop giving hurricanes these benign human names. We should start naming hurricanes after current and former enemies of the state.

Life is Suffering: A Children's Poem

Young one, drunk on milk and mother's charms
do not dream of the future and what it can bring
think only of the present, not the Christmas kind
for life is suffering!

Brave son, wearer of the cardboard space helmet
do not dream of being an astronaut
for you are horribly, unforgivably stupid
there are only so few that can be astronauts
and life is suffering!

News Media: Apples and Oranges

Fox News: Fuck Apples!

CNN: Fuck Oranges!

Light Beer Existence

I need a new girlfriend. Hell, maybe a wife.

There's one catch. I am a thinker, an analyzer and depending on who you ask, a deranged and charming head case. It makes things interesting but it makes me picky.


I need a girl or a wife from a light beer commercial. Here are my reasons!

Sean Penn, Kid Rock and Acid Flashbacks

by Jim Kopetz

The strangest political ad you will see all year.

Guilt Trip Doctor Visits!

Doctor: You should really stop smoking cigarettes now. They're bad, and will lead to health problems further down the road.

Me (Hanging my head in cigarette shame): I know. They're bad. I'll try.

My Brain (Outraged): Smoking is bad? I know smoking is bad. I think my 4-year-old cousin knows smoking is bad, and he, developmentally speaking, isn't supposed to be able to grasp the concept of good and bad! 

Revision...Affluent Style

A recent poll completed by the Mendelsohn Affluent Barometer (which definitely doesn't sound like a biased organization...) showed that more wealthy Americans (those making $250,000 +/year) will spend more money if Romney wins than if Obama is re-elected. And while that sounds fine, it's the earlier version of the article which had me a little enraged.

Obama's Got 99 Problems But Mitt Ain't One

by Jim Kopetz

Barack Obama's got 99 Problems but Mitt ain't one...